What is a Narcissist?
In the general, dictionary sense, a narcissist is someone who seeks out mirrors and is always pretty pleased with what s/he encounters in them. A generic narcissist is a person who thinks s/he’s “all that and a bag of chips.”
A pathological narcissist, however, that is, someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), isn’t just self-infatuated; a pathological narcissist’s brain is wired differently from other people’s. His or her maturation in a number of socially significant ways is neurologically arrested. Unlike the cool or popular kid in high school who experiences a rude awakening when s/he enters adulthood and learns that grownup expectations aren’t satisfied by good cheekbones or a letterman jacket, the pathological narcissist remains morally and emotionally (cognitively) stunted.
The relevantly distinctive traits of a narcissist in the context of abuses of restraining orders—and allegations of such abuses by narcissists bring readers to this blog weekly—are a sense of superiority (which includes being above the law), entitlement to special treatment, delusions of both grandeur and persecution, exploitation of others, an insatiable need for attention, absence of empathy, and vindictive rage when challenged or criticized by others. Narcissists’ being both glibly charming and unscrupulous in seeking to injure those whom they perceive as threats to their pearl-perfect self-images makes them ideally suited to manipulate the courts toward realizing foul ends.
Psychologist Theodore Milton has proposed five narcissist sub-types:
Themes that run through these definitions are charlatanism, pathological lying, fraudulence, self-indulgence, an extreme sense of self-worth and empowerment, contempt for others, paranoia, and vindictiveness. The narcissist, in other words, is the restraining order plaintiff from hell. Narcissists don’t back down, because they have no social conscience to capitulate to, and their malice, once piqued, knows no bounds. They thrive on attention and are virtuosos at poisoning the minds of others. And the ease with which restraining orders are obtained by willful fraud makes restraining orders and narcissists a perfect jigsaw-puzzle fit. A narcissist, furthermore, won’t just lie to persuade a judge that someone s/he has it out for is a threat; s/he’ll persuade others around her that s/he’s in imminent danger and may even convince an employer, for instance, to implement special security protocols to ensure his or her protection. A narcissist is a consummate method actor who lives for an audience.
Consultation of the page on this blog titled, “What Is a Sociopath (or Psychopath)?”, might lead the reader to perceive significant overlaps between sociopaths and narcissists. Indeed some psychologists, for example, Dr. Linda Martinez-Lewi, readily use the phrase “narcissistic sociopath” to describe a narcissist who exhibits virulent antisocial misconduct (that is, who vigorously abuses others). In her book, The Sociopath Next Door, psychologist Martha Stout distinguishes narcissists from sociopaths this way: sociopaths are without feeling; narcissists feel (even to a pathological extreme) but feel only for themselves. Narcissists are statistically 1/100; sociopaths are 1/25. Both are said to be on the rise, particularly in the West. Consider these headlines in The Huffington Post regarding NPD (especially Tina Swithin’s “Why Our Family Courts are Failing”).
Certainly both narcissists and sociopaths are receiving more public scrutiny. Which is more dangerous? The narcissist. Sociopaths don’t dwell; narcissists will nurse a grudge to the bitter end, never budging an inch, and convince everyone around them that their frauds are completely on the level. Copyright © 2013 RestrainingOrderAbuse.com If you or someone you love is living with or married to a narcissist, most likely you have been living with some type of abuse for some time. Leaving an abusive situation is not easy. Especially when the abuse is from the man who you entrusted your heart too…to love and protect you. Often, your friends and even family will take his side and not understand your pain. Call Dr. Regina M. Baldwin today for a free consultation. Breaking free is not easy…but possible. Don’t let someone steal your joy and future any longer. God created you unique and with a destiny that no one else can fulfill. Please call 1-417-731-8354
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Where there is a narcissist, you can bet there is domestic violence and child abuse. While you read this from the comfort of your home…many are silently suffering longing for the touch of Christ in their lives. You CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN A LIFE. Thank you. Also, please leave your comments, experiences, hopes and prayer requests. Pray for one another. A verse to meditate on: Psalm 41:1-3 “How blessed is he who considers the helpless: The Lord will deliver him in a day of trouble. The Lord will protect him and keep him alive, And he shall be called blessed upon the earth; And do not give him over to his enemies. The Lord will sustain him upon his sickbed; In his illness, You restore him to health.”